my ramblings and other stuff on history and the Filipino

Rizal was ‘anti-Revolution’ and that Bonifacio was a leader of the Katipunan who strongly believed that the only way to free the Filipino people was through a bloody battle with the Spaniards. I don’t know much about Aguinaldo except that he was educated, rich and was the first president of the Republic of the Philippines. And I don’t even know if Philippines was really a republic then. I still don’t have a clear picture of the timeline as to when the Spanish rule started, when it ended, when the Japanese invasion took place and when our American ‘brothers’ came into the picture and how and why they remain to be ‘in the picture’.

            I knew from my dad who constantly persuaded me to read ‘In the Image of the Filipino people’ by Agoncillo that the Bonifacio brothers were actually murdered by their Katipunero brothers who supposedly were fighting for the same cause and were under the same organization and who supposedly had the same ideals, goals and beliefs as the Bonifacio brothers.

            Only until recently had I been made aware that the image of Bonifacio as a member of the lower class Filipino and a person who was ruled only by the desire to kill and get even with the Spanish for all their injustice and exploitation was jaded. It is infact a fact that Bonifacio was educated. He was the first person to translate the last poem of Rizal from Spanish to Tagalog. He worked as a clerk for a British company. And he also had composed songs and wrote poems. These were characteristics which could not be attributed to an uneducated ‘macho’ man. Bonifacio actually deserves more respect than what the elementary and high school and even sad to say college education was giving him. He deserves more reverence. He deserves to be known more.

            Until this very day, I have not changed my mind so much why I believe that Bonifacio was a much better person than Rizal. In all honesty and fairness, I stand on my belief that Bonifacio deserves more respect as a Bayani than Rizal does. But I also stand on my believe that Bonifacio can never and should never be the National Hero of the Philippines. Why? Because the person who is Bonifacio – his history, his death – shows so much of the ill that has gotten into the Filipino people. The cancer that is corruption. Bonifacio was murdered by Filipinos and for that reason alone, he could never be proclaimed as the National Hero of the Philippines. How can you let him habe that position when his death is so controversial and so sad that everytime one would inquire about how his life ended, we would never be able to explain that our Hero – the demi-god who was Bonifacio was killed by his brothers. How can we explain that the person we revere and look up to so greatly have fallen as a victim to the corruption, greed and the desire for power – which is actually universal. The death of Bonifacio has the correct ingredient for him to be proclaimed a hero-but not as a national hero, and not for the Filipino. Because the drama that surrounds his death is a drama that shows how ignorant we were and how we cared so much of ourselves to the extent of eliminating a good leader by someone who is so greedy for power.

            I know that one day I have to end my ignorance on Aguinaldo. He is worth more space in my brain that what I have used for him. We have to accept the truth – he is a major player in our history. For Christ’s sake he was the first Filipino president. There a certain mystery to him to which I have to find the answers or the explanation for. I have yet to better understand who he was and why did he have the desire or the idea to get rid of Bonifacio – if he actually did.

            Honestly, I do not know much. I am ignorant and at the same time innocent. Ignorant because at this time and age, there is no excuse for not learning what it is you want to learn. There is no excuse for not being able to answer you questions and inquiries. There is no excuse in being left in the dark when all the information needed to get yourself to the light is accessible to you. But I am also innocent. Innocent because some of the authors and historians and people who were given the opportunity to establish a truth failed to remove their own bias. Innocent because I have no other choice but to look deeper into the answers of my questions and evaluate if they are correct and if they are true and if they are just.

            History is basically, for me, the account of events and of people from the past based on how the winner sees them to have happened. History is a game for winners. Very rarely do you find the losing team’s book published or taken as the truth. There is so much ‘politics’ in history. And due to this politics, one can be made innocent. Innocent because they never had the chance or will never have the opportunity to learn of the truth.

            I want to relieve myself from this ignorance and innocence. I want to believe my own history. I want to find answers to my questions. And my real goal in doing so is for me to, in the end, find the correct reasons to be proud that I am a Filipino.

----------------

 

            I am not that stupid to start looking down at people who choose to leave the country for a better chance in life. I am not that stupid to condemn them for their choices. I am well aware of the hardships that people encounter in the Philippines – from having a minimum wage below the expense requirements of everyday life to graduating from college in order to land a job at no where else but the call center and practically not applying what you had to study in your four or five (or more) years in college.

            I do not blame these people for wanting more that what they can get in this God-forsaken country. I do not blame them for choosing to obtain what they deserve even if it means being exploited or serving a country which is not their own.

            But there is something I condemn about these thousands of people who choose to leave the Philippines and go to another country for a better life. I condemn them for wanting to forget where they came from. I condemn them for forgetting their culture and adapting the culture of their ‘new home’. I condemn them for their lack of love for our country.

            Ideally, what I would like to see are Filipino people going out of the country – working even if it meant being exploited – but acquiring all knowledge they can get and amassing all wealth available to them and going back to the Philippines to try to encourage change. To use what they have learned and what they have experienced to change the present situation of things and to make the quality of life in the Philippines better than what it was before. To remove the necessity of leaving the Philippines for a better opportunity, for a better future. I want to see Filipino people with the desire and conviction of using their knowledge and their wealth to eradicate all and any form of corruption, injustice, unfairness and most especially abuse. I want to see these learned, experienced and wealthy Filipinos go back to the Philippines and bring back to their country what they owe it – their identity, their life and themselves.

            We must not forget that our history – where you came from and who you were – are a part of who you are and where you are going to be. And if we decide to cut all our ties with our history, if we decide to forget our culture, if we decide to forget the Philippines then I must agree with Rizal – you smell like bagoong. Even worse. You are the maggots that feed on the rotten bagoong.       Go ahead. Make a future for you

rself. But never forget your past because you are not getting where your going if you don’t know where you came from.

------

            I want to write a book. I want to write a history book. I want to publish a book which you do not have to buy and I want that book to be in every poor Filipino’s house. I want them to read that book while they are taking a shit, I want them to read the book while they are waiting for the next passenger to ride their tricycle, I want the children to look at the pictures on the book and be able to make up in their minds the story that is in the book. I want to book to be a means for the poor Filipino farmer to understand what he is and what his country has been through. In the end, I want all these poor Filipino’s to be proud that even if they are just a simple street vendor, a prostitute, or a tricycle driver they are Filipinos and they belong to a great, fierce and brave race.

---------------

            When people ask why I waste so much time reading Hollywood or showbiz news, it is either I try to explain myself to them or ignore them. I am not wasting my time. What is a better way of getting a person to listen to something he is unfamiliar with than talking first to him about the juicy gossips of the entertainment world which he probably is so familiar with and then taking the conversation into a deeper level.

            Let us not forget how the Filipinos are so interested in show business. Remember, who was our thirteenth president? He would not have been appointed to that office if I am wrong on this idea. 

 

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There is something so equal and democratic about dying – F. Sionil Jose

 

 

the start

Nakakatuwang isipin ang naging epekto sa akin ng lakbay aral sa Banahaw; ang pagkakakilala ko kay Sir Chua, ang mga nakuha kong aral at impormasyon sa mga taong may sadyang ‘out-of-this-wold’ na idea, prinsipyo at pagiisip, at ang experience ko sa klase ni maam Kat..

            Today, all these ‘heat’ on nationalism and being Filipino started with a single song and a simple ride on an FX. It was surprising that the radio was playing that song and what was more surprising was that the driver didn’t change the station.

            ‘Ako ay isinilang sa isang bayan sa Cotabato…’ The music touched me in a way that a song has never done before. I was happy to listen to the song, I was in love with it. then I did realize one important thing: Filipino music is wonderful. It is light and as I told Ma’am Kat and Sir Chua through text: nakakapagpagaan ng puso at nakakagising ng dugo. The song is able to wake something inside you. for me, it woke up a dream: a Filipino dream. A dream wherein everyone is at peace and everyone has learned to love our motherland.

            The Filipino is a great people. I will never change my mind on that. They are great people but choose to be less. They can be a superpower: just look at our brothers and sisters: they are all over the place, our race is all over the world. If we could only harness this power and be united, we can do wonders. Some Filipinos are even given the job of caring for the sick or raising children. Some of these sick and these children are either powerful or will earn power in the future. They are our leaders or will be leaders. I have heard that one of our neighbor in the place where I grew up who works in Saudi Arabia actually works at the King’s palace. If the Filipinos could only unite and start feeling a sense of nationalism, they might just be able to persuade the world that we are more than just beggars, that we are more than just ‘simple’ ass-wipers. That we an be more than just servants or even prove that we can be the best at what we choose to do. If we would just start being nationalistic. It doesn’t mean we have to remain in our country. It just means that if we do try to work outside of our country, we would choose to make those we work with change their mind about how uncivilized we are. We can be great. The Filipino is a great people. We just have to believe that and do out best to prove that. Instead of just looking at the opportunity of working abroad as a means of earning money, we should look at it as a means of bringing glory back to our nation.

            I am not writing this in order to condemn those who choose to work outside of the Philippines. I am not that stupid not to realize that if they were to stay here, they would probably die of hunger. Working out of the country might be the best way to provide a future for their family. What I condemn is the idea that when they leave the Philippines, they forget who they were or where they came from. What is worse than that is when they choose to belittle their nation. When they start embracing the culture (or lack of it) of their new place and despise the culture they once believed in. What I condemn is then they start believing that whatever is Filipino means it is class C or class D or the lowest class. Which is sad, which is disgusting. Rizal himself among  our other forefathers, realized the need to go out of the country. What makes them different is they did not allow that country to make a slave of them. Instead, they exploited that country and took everything they could from it: be it food, clothing, shelter, education and even women (hehe).

            I am not here to deny how hard times are and how ‘poor’ the rich Philippines have become. I just hope that one day, every Filipino would wake up and realize what I know: that we are a great people. That we can demand respect. That we are of limitless potential and their ticket to a better life.

 

I HAVE A SECRET (we are great)

 

Meron akong secreto. Gusto mo bang malaman kung ano it? Malamang! Lahat ng tao ay may curious na parte na gusting malamang ang mga tsismis at mga bagay-bagay na hindi konektado sa kanila. Maari nating sabihin na lahat tayo ay ipinanganak na tsismoso. Naalala nyo ba ang mga musmos na bigla na lamang nagiging makulit at papansin dahil naramdaman nilang pinaguusapan sila ng kanilang mga inang nagbabantay sa kanila? O ikaw kaya! Naaalala mo pa ba kung pano mo idikit ang ulo mo sa pintong sarado para lamang marinig kung ano ang pinaguusapan ng iyong ama at ina sa loob ng kanilang kwarto? Eh pano iyong pagkalikot mo sa mga gamit ng ate mo? Dahan-dahan mong iniisa-isa ang mga laman ng kanyang bag sa paghangad na makakahanap ka ng love letter o kahit anong bagay na pwede mong magamit sa pagsumbong sa inyong ina. Ang gusto ko lang sabihin ay, sa tingin ko, napakadaling kunin ng atensiyon ng mga tao para makinig sa iyo lalo na kong ang iyong sasabihin ay isang malaking sekreto o di kaya ay tsismis.

            Ngunit kaibigan, hindi kita niloloko nung sabihin kong meron akong sekretong ibabahagi sa iyo. Hindi ko mamadaliin ang pagsabi nito sa iyo. Hayaan mo muna akong magkwento ng mga bagay-bagay – mga munting sekreto na hindi ko ikakagulat kung alam mo na. makinig kang mabuti sa akin, ha? Para siguradong malaman mo kung ano iyong sekretong nangangati akong ipagsabi sayo.

            Sigurado naman ako na narinig mo na ang pangalang Jose Rizal. Siya ang ating Pambansang Bayani – na katulad ng lahat ng bagay dito sa Pilipinas ay pati ang pwesto niyang iyon ay binabalot pa din ng controbersya. Pero hindi ang mga kontobersyang iyong ang paguusapan natin. Hayaan mong ikwento ko sayo kung ano nga ba ang pagkakakilala ko sa kanya. Tatlumpu’t apat na taong gulang siya nung patayin sa pamamagitan ng firing squad. Maaring itatanong mo sa akin kung hindi mo pa siya lubusang kilala: ‘ganon ba siya kaimportante na kinailangang sa pamamagitan pa ng firing squad siya pataying?’ at sasabihin ko sa iyo kapatid na oo. Noong panahon niya, siya ang isang paraan upang gisingin ang dugo ng mga Pilipino – hindi man sa rebolusyon at pakikibaka kundi sa pagmulat na kaya ng mga Pilipinong pamahalaan ang kanilang sarili. Na meron tayong kakayahang maging higit pa sa magsasakang walang pinag-aralan. Siya ay nagbigay ng ehemplo para maisip ng mga kapwa niya na KAYA NG PILIPINO! Pinatay siya sa pagnanais ng mga Kastila na ang kanyang naestablish na imahe sa mga mamamayan niya ay mabago at sa halip, maitatak sa isip ng mga tao na ang sinumang kumalaban sa Espanya ay tiyak na mamamatay.

Nag-aral si Rizal sa Espanya at sa iba’t ibang lugar ng mundo. Sadyang may ankin siyang katalinuhan at magaling sa pagsusulat. What makes him special is that he has learned to love his country before he even left to face another land – a foreign culture. And on this love,

 

Do you want to know a secret? Of course you do! Everybody wants to know a secret! Everyone has that curious side of their self that thrive on gossips. The scuttlebutt character is innate in us. Remember how you see toddlers suddenly become naughty when they get a hint that their mothers are talking about them? Or you, yourself, do you not remember how you would stick your side of the head on the door hoping that you would hear what your mom and dad are talking about inside their room? Or how you would go through your older sisters things hoping that you would find something that proves he has a boyfriend so that you may rush to your mom and report it. My point here is that it seems to me that the best way to get a person to listen to you is to tell them that the information you are going to discuss are really important, qualified information. Then for sure, you have an avid listener who would hang on every word you say.

            But my friend, I am not bluffing you. I really do have a secret. And I am about to share that to you. I will not spill the beans at once. I will discuss to you minor secrets- things you have probably heard of already – and after which, I will tell you what my tongue is itching to say.

            Anyway, I bet you have heard of Jose Rizal: he happens to be our National Hero. As everything else in our country, even his position as such is still embraced with some controversy. But that is not what we are going to talk about here. Let me tell you what I know about him as a creature that visited the earth. He died at the age of 34 via firing squad, very dramatic. Now you may start questioning: who was he? Why did he

 

OUR HOPES IN PACQUAIO

 

*  The Lupang Hinirang by Kyla – going back to history and respecting the designed national anthem the of the Philippines.

the start

Nakakatuwang isipin ang naging epekto sa akin ng lakbay aral sa Banahaw; ang pagkakakilala ko kay Sir Chua, ang mga nakuha kong aral at impormasyon sa mga taong may sadyang ‘out-of-this-wold’ na idea, prinsipyo at pagiisip, at ang experience ko sa klase ni maam Kat..

            Today, all these ‘heat’ on nationalism and being Filipino started with a single song and a simple ride on an FX. It was surprising that the radio was playing that song and what was more surprising was that the driver didn’t change the station.

            ‘Ako ay isinilang sa isang bayan sa Cotabato…’ The music touched me in a way that a song has never done before. I was happy to listen to the song, I was in love with it. then I did realize one important thing: Filipino music is wonderful. It is light and as I told Ma’am Kat and Sir Chua through text: nakakapagpagaan ng puso at nakakagising ng dugo. The song is able to wake something inside you. for me, it woke up a dream: a Filipino dream. A dream wherein everyone is at peace and everyone has learned to love our motherland.

            The Filipino is a great people. I will never change my mind on that. They are great people but choose to be less. They can be a superpower: just look at our brothers and sisters: they are all over the place, our race is all over the world. If we could only harness this power and be united, we can do wonders. Some Filipinos are even given the job of caring for the sick or raising children. Some of these sick and these children are either powerful or will earn power in the future. They are our leaders or will be leaders. I have heard that one of our neighbor in the place where I grew up who works in Saudi Arabia actually works at the King’s palace. If the Filipinos could only unite and start feeling a sense of nationalism, they might just be able to persuade the world that we are more than just beggars, that we are more than just ‘simple’ ass-wipers. That we an be more than just servants or even prove that we can be the best at what we choose to do. If we would just start being nationalistic. It doesn’t mean we have to remain in our country. It just means that if we do try to work outside of our country, we would choose to make those we work with change their mind about how uncivilized we are. We can be great. The Filipino is a great people. We just have to believe that and do out best to prove that. Instead of just looking at the opportunity of working abroad as a means of earning money, we should look at it as a means of bringing glory back to our nation.

            I am not writing this in order to condemn those who choose to work outside of the Philippines. I am not that stupid not to realize that if they were to stay here, they would probably die of hunger. Working out of the country might be the best way to provide a future for their family. What I condemn is the idea that when they leave the Philippines, they forget who they were or where they came from. What is worse than that is when they choose to belittle their nation. When they start embracing the culture (or lack of it) of their new place and despise the culture they once believed in. What I condemn is then they start believing that whatever is Filipino means it is class C or class D or the lowest class. Which is sad, which is disgusting. Rizal himself among  our other forefathers, realized the need to go out of the country. What makes them different is they did not allow that country to make a slave of them. Instead, they exploited that country and took everything they could from it: be it food, clothing, shelter, education and even women (hehe).

            I am not here to deny how hard times are and how ‘poor’ the rich Philippines have become. I just hope that one day, every Filipino would wake up and realize what I know: that we are a great people. That we can demand respect. That we are of limitless potential and their ticket to a better life.

 

I HAVE A SECRET (we are great)

 

Meron akong secreto. Gusto mo bang malaman kung ano it? Malamang! Lahat ng tao ay may curious na parte na gusting malamang ang mga tsismis at mga bagay-bagay na hindi konektado sa kanila. Maari nating sabihin na lahat tayo ay ipinanganak na tsismoso. Naalala nyo ba ang mga musmos na bigla na lamang nagiging makulit at papansin dahil naramdaman nilang pinaguusapan sila ng kanilang mga inang nagbabantay sa kanila? O ikaw kaya! Naaalala mo pa ba kung pano mo idikit ang ulo mo sa pintong sarado para lamang marinig kung ano ang pinaguusapan ng iyong ama at ina sa loob ng kanilang kwarto? Eh pano iyong pagkalikot mo sa mga gamit ng ate mo? Dahan-dahan mong iniisa-isa ang mga laman ng kanyang bag sa paghangad na makakahanap ka ng love letter o kahit anong bagay na pwede mong magamit sa pagsumbong sa inyong ina. Ang gusto ko lang sabihin ay, sa tingin ko, napakadaling kunin ng atensiyon ng mga tao para makinig sa iyo lalo na kong ang iyong sasabihin ay isang malaking sekreto o di kaya ay tsismis.

            Ngunit kaibigan, hindi kita niloloko nung sabihin kong meron akong sekretong ibabahagi sa iyo. Hindi ko mamadaliin ang pagsabi nito sa iyo. Hayaan mo muna akong magkwento ng mga bagay-bagay – mga munting sekreto na hindi ko ikakagulat kung alam mo na. makinig kang mabuti sa akin, ha? Para siguradong malaman mo kung ano iyong sekretong nangangati akong ipagsabi sayo.

            Sigurado naman ako na narinig mo na ang pangalang Jose Rizal. Siya ang ating Pambansang Bayani – na katulad ng lahat ng bagay dito sa Pilipinas ay pati ang pwesto niyang iyon ay binabalot pa din ng controbersya. Pero hindi ang mga kontobersyang iyong ang paguusapan natin. Hayaan mong ikwento ko sayo kung ano nga ba ang pagkakakilala ko sa kanya. Tatlumpu’t apat na taong gulang siya nung patayin sa pamamagitan ng firing squad. Maaring itatanong mo sa akin kung hindi mo pa siya lubusang kilala: ‘ganon ba siya kaimportante na kinailangang sa pamamagitan pa ng firing squad siya pataying?’ at sasabihin ko sa iyo kapatid na oo. Noong panahon niya, siya ang isang paraan upang gisingin ang dugo ng mga Pilipino – hindi man sa rebolusyon at pakikibaka kundi sa pagmulat na kaya ng mga Pilipinong pamahalaan ang kanilang sarili. Na meron tayong kakayahang maging higit pa sa magsasakang walang pinag-aralan. Siya ay nagbigay ng ehemplo para maisip ng mga kapwa niya na KAYA NG PILIPINO! Pinatay siya sa pagnanais ng mga Kastila na ang kanyang naestablish na imahe sa mga mamamayan niya ay mabago at sa halip, maitatak sa isip ng mga tao na ang sinumang kumalaban sa Espanya ay tiyak na mamamatay.

Nag-aral si Rizal sa Espanya at sa iba’t ibang lugar ng mundo. Sadyang may ankin siyang katalinuhan at magaling sa pagsusulat. What makes him special is that he has learned to love his country before he even left to face another land – a foreign culture. And on this love,

 

Do you want to know a secret? Of course you do! Everybody wants to know a secret! Everyone has that curious side of their self that thrive on gossips. The scuttlebutt character is innate in us. Remember how you see toddlers suddenly become naughty when they get a hint that their mothers are talking about them? Or you, yourself, do you not remember how you would stick your side of the head on the door hoping that you would hear what your mom and dad are talking about inside their room? Or how you would go through your older sisters things hoping that you would find something that proves he has a boyfriend so that you may rush to your mom and report it. My point here is that it seems to me that the best way to get a person to listen to you is to tell them that the information you are going to discuss are really important, qualified information. Then for sure, you have an avid listener who would hang on every word you say.

            But my friend, I am not bluffing you. I really do have a secret. And I am about to share that to you. I will not spill the beans at once. I will discuss to you minor secrets- things you have probably heard of already – and after which, I will tell you what my tongue is itching to say.

            Anyway, I bet you have heard of Jose Rizal: he happens to be our National Hero. As everything else in our country, even his position as such is still embraced with some controversy. But that is not what we are going to talk about here. Let me tell you what I know about him as a creature that visited the earth. He died at the age of 34 via firing squad, very dramatic. Now you may start questioning: who was he? Why did he

 

OUR HOPES IN PACQUAIO

 

*  The Lupang Hinirang by Kyla – going back to history and respecting the designed national anthem the of the Philippines.

nakuhanan mo ba?

dapa! (abs' version)

dapa!

the start of our experimentations

bago pa eh!

umpisa pa lang ng pagkakagusto ni abs sa pagslide.

ben singkol: your crooked arm, your straight life

            I am on a self-imposed journey: a journey towards knowing my origins and on how I could find my identity as a Filipino. The first book I have read by Sionil Jose was Ermita. At first, I believed it was something which focused on femininity and the power of women. Until later it came to my realization that it would be better for me to view it as something on Philippine history – with Ermita representing the Filipino people and how she was used or how she used men for her benefit. But enough about Ermita. It has been so long since I read that novel and it will be long before I would reread it. I was actually compelled to write something on Ben Singkol.

            I think I read the novel too hurriedly. Finishing it in a day and a night while depriving myself of continuous sleep. I remember too well that I refused to put the book down. Sleeping was a break from information overload and not as a requirement for the rejuvenation of my brain hormones so that I would be able to handle the next day’s stresses. And now, I think it is my duty to myself to write something about it and reflect what it is that I have learned.

            First, I would like to figure out why of all names and deformity, Jose chose singkol. Why did he not make Isko cross-eyed or pilay? What was it with not being able to stretch your arm straight that made that disfigurement so appealing and extraordinary that Jose would write a novel with it as its core?

Ben Singkol is what I believe a passive character. He never really seemed to have fought for anything. He accepted failure as something very natural. He has never done anything to really change the failures that came his way. In one point, I believe this is a very Filipino character. I saw this in the novel of Rizal, Noli Me Tangere, where people did not want to fight for a change. It seemed like Filipinos are long-enduring people. Revolution only happens in the Philippines when one has been exploited to his limit and for Filipinos, this limit almost does not exist because of their capacity to endure so much injustice and abuse. And so Ben Singkol, instead of telling his uncle to stop hitting him on the side of his head, by his ear, just took the blows naturally, as if his uncle had every right to deprive him of hearing on his left ear. Also, Ben did not do anything to dispute with his aunt on how hard she was pinching his ears. His choice to not fight against this kind of treatment toward him imposed by older people may be taken as a sign of respect. But for me, instead of Ben establishing an image of being respectful, actually showed how cowardly he was.

As for his love for Nena, refusing to marry her when she came to her asking them to elope proved what I have conjured up in my mind. He was a coward. Ben Singkol did not seem to have anything to fight for. Destiny was bringing him to where he came to be, not because he chose to rule his destiny but because he did not care at all where he would get to – except the one moving force which was to never end up like his father.

I believe that he could have made it with Nena as his wife. Nena was smart and talented. They both could have found a life-sustaining job. But he did not want to fight for his love for her. As for Remy, even if he did suggest that they fight for their love, he accepted their fate as if it was the most natural thing to do. And his marriage with Isabel. Again, he accepted that.

Basically, Ben was a drifter. He never really made any major decisions for himself. And when he did, it was not because he really believed in it, but because it was his way of running away. Ben was a coward and a drifter. But this does not mean that he has failed to capture my heart.

He may have been a coward, but he certainly has gone through too much in his life. He was already alive from the time of the Japanese until Marcos was in power, abusing it. Just imagine the turmoil and the devastation that he has witnessed and experienced during these two trying times of his nation. Aside from this, he himself has experienced the loss of his loved ones. Starting from his childhood sweetheart, Nena, his college fling, Remy, to his wife, Isabella. And most especially, his daughter, Josie. Everything that he has loved was taken away from him. He has basically lost everyone that he has known. And those who remained were very few and even quite irrelevant. He has lost all the family that he has known. Opposite to his father’s experience of finding a family when he was left as a child, probably to die, Ben’s life went from having a family to losing all of them due to the war with the Japanese and the war of the Filipino people with the Filipino people.

To me, the novel shows that the Japanese people are our enemy – from the exploitation and torture that we experienced in their hands. But most especially, the novel did not fail to make me realize that certainly, the worst enemies of the Filipino people are Filipinos themselves. It was disgusting how the Japanese abused us but what was more tormenting was the fact that we allowed once in our history to be exploited and maltreated by out own countryman, which we called our President and his cronies. It was evident that the power Marcos had and his dummies were so great – one could even say that they were above God in trying to control our lives. Basically, they just chose to do whatever they willed and they were able to get away with it.

Julio Nalundasan was mentioned in the novel. And a comic realization came upon me: we elected as president someone who at an early age was found guilty by the court to have committed murder. Even if he was acquitted by the Supreme Court from the crime that he has committed, Marcos was blemished by the blood of a man who was his father’s rival in politics. And yet, knowing this, we still trusted our very country – our form of identity to such a man. Yes, certainly, the Filipino people are so easy to deceive.

I wonder how it was that Marcos was able to do what he did: fool the Filipino people by promising them a better future and even being granted that opportunity by being elected by the public. Who is to blame for what we have gone through in the Marcos regime? Certainly not much blame could be pinpointed to Marcos. We always had a choice. If we needed to, we could always have chosen to sacrifice our lives and fight against the oppression that we went through. By we, I meant the whole nation in unity. But we did not. We waited until it was almost too late. We waited until the Philippines was in so much debt with the World Bank and when so many innocent lives have been lost and most importantly, we waited until most of our freedom was taken away from us. Will the Filipino people ever learn? Will they ever come to the realization that we deserve to be free? Or are we always just going to let other people rule over us? The Spanish, the Japanese, our American friends and even the heads of our country. When will we realize that we have the right to change things? When will we realize that we do not always have to suffer against our choice? When will realize that we can make this nation a great nation?

Never! We will never be great until we learn from our mistakes. We will never be great until we identify ourselves as Filipinos. And we will never be great until we know about our history.

Ah! History. What a wonderful thing you are. Yet, you seem to always be taken for granted.

 

ben singkol: your crooked arm, your straight life

            I am on a self-imposed journey: a journey towards knowing my origins and on how I could find my identity as a Filipino. The first book I have read by Sionil Jose was Ermita. At first, I believed it was something which focused on femininity and the power of women. Until later it came to my realization that it would be better for me to view it as something on Philippine history – with Ermita representing the Filipino people and how she was used or how she used men for her benefit. But enough about Ermita. It has been so long since I read that novel and it will be long before I would reread it. I was actually compelled to write something on Ben Singkol.

            I think I read the novel too hurriedly. Finishing it in a day and a night while depriving myself of continuous sleep. I remember too well that I refused to put the book down. Sleeping was a break from information overload and not as a requirement for the rejuvenation of my brain hormones so that I would be able to handle the next day’s stresses. And now, I think it is my duty to myself to write something about it and reflect what it is that I have learned.

            First, I would like to figure out why of all names and deformity, Jose chose singkol. Why did he not make Isko cross-eyed or pilay? What was it with not being able to stretch your arm straight that made that disfigurement so appealing and extraordinary that Jose would write a novel with it as its core?

Ben Singkol is what I believe a passive character. He never really seemed to have fought for anything. He accepted failure as something very natural. He has never done anything to really change the failures that came his way. In one point, I believe this is a very Filipino character. I saw this in the novel of Rizal, Noli Me Tangere, where people did not want to fight for a change. It seemed like Filipinos are long-enduring people. Revolution only happens in the Philippines when one has been exploited to his limit and for Filipinos, this limit almost does not exist because of their capacity to endure so much injustice and abuse. And so Ben Singkol, instead of telling his uncle to stop hitting him on the side of his head, by his ear, just took the blows naturally, as if his uncle had every right to deprive him of hearing on his left ear. Also, Ben did not do anything to dispute with his aunt on how hard she was pinching his ears. His choice to not fight against this kind of treatment toward him imposed by older people may be taken as a sign of respect. But for me, instead of Ben establishing an image of being respectful, actually showed how cowardly he was.

As for his love for Nena, refusing to marry her when she came to her asking them to elope proved what I have conjured up in my mind. He was a coward. Ben Singkol did not seem to have anything to fight for. Destiny was bringing him to where he came to be, not because he chose to rule his destiny but because he did not care at all where he would get to – except the one moving force which was to never end up like his father.

I believe that he could have made it with Nena as his wife. Nena was smart and talented. They both could have found a life-sustaining job. But he did not want to fight for his love for her. As for Remy, even if he did suggest that they fight for their love, he accepted their fate as if it was the most natural thing to do. And his marriage with Isabel. Again, he accepted that.

Basically, Ben was a drifter. He never really made any major decisions for himself. And when he did, it was not because he really believed in it, but because it was his way of running away. Ben was a coward and a drifter. But this does not mean that he has failed to capture my heart.

He may have been a coward, but he certainly has gone through too much in his life. He was already alive from the time of the Japanese until Marcos was in power, abusing it. Just imagine the turmoil and the devastation that he has witnessed and experienced during these two trying times of his nation. Aside from this, he himself has experienced the loss of his loved ones. Starting from his childhood sweetheart, Nena, his college fling, Remy, to his wife, Isabella. And most especially, his daughter, Josie. Everything that he has loved was taken away from him. He has basically lost everyone that he has known. And those who remained were very few and even quite irrelevant. He has lost all the family that he has known. Opposite to his father’s experience of finding a family when he was left as a child, probably to die, Ben’s life went from having a family to losing all of them due to the war with the Japanese and the war of the Filipino people with the Filipino people.

To me, the novel shows that the Japanese people are our enemy – from the exploitation and torture that we experienced in their hands. But most especially, the novel did not fail to make me realize that certainly, the worst enemies of the Filipino people are Filipinos themselves. It was disgusting how the Japanese abused us but what was more tormenting was the fact that we allowed once in our history to be exploited and maltreated by out own countryman, which we called our President and his cronies. It was evident that the power Marcos had and his dummies were so great – one could even say that they were above God in trying to control our lives. Basically, they just chose to do whatever they willed and they were able to get away with it.

Julio Nalundasan was mentioned in the novel. And a comic realization came upon me: we elected as president someone who at an early age was found guilty by the court to have committed murder. Even if he was acquitted by the Supreme Court from the crime that he has committed, Marcos was blemished by the blood of a man who was his father’s rival in politics. And yet, knowing this, we still trusted our very country – our form of identity to such a man. Yes, certainly, the Filipino people are so easy to deceive.

I wonder how it was that Marcos was able to do what he did: fool the Filipino people by promising them a better future and even being granted that opportunity by being elected by the public. Who is to blame for what we have gone through in the Marcos regime? Certainly not much blame could be pinpointed to Marcos. We always had a choice. If we needed to, we could always have chosen to sacrifice our lives and fight against the oppression that we went through. By we, I meant the whole nation in unity. But we did not. We waited until it was almost too late. We waited until the Philippines was in so much debt with the World Bank and when so many innocent lives have been lost and most importantly, we waited until most of our freedom was taken away from us. Will the Filipino people ever learn? Will they ever come to the realization that we deserve to be free? Or are we always just going to let other people rule over us? The Spanish, the Japanese, our American friends and even the heads of our country. When will we realize that we have the right to change things? When will we realize that we do not always have to suffer against our choice? When will realize that we can make this nation a great nation?

Never! We will never be great until we learn from our mistakes. We will never be great until we identify ourselves as Filipinos. And we will never be great until we know about our history.

Ah! History. What a wonderful thing you are. Yet, you seem to always be taken for granted.

 

sembreyk

first experience on the slide

with our age? over twenties? this is probably the most memorable first experience on the slide. and yes, it was fun.

schwimming!

in short: PERFECT!

at SIN city, este sun city pala.

together again!

one of the first bonding moments after a loooooonnnnnngggggg time!